"Facts of Life" Actress' Child Abuse Manual
Thanks once again to The Lawrences for the heads-up about this book. Actress Lisa Welchel is cashing in on some really disgusting child-rearing (and I use that term loosely) practices. From the Lawrences website:
"Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline" by Lisa Whelchel
In this bizaare and abuse-filled book, former actress Lisa Whelchel calls children these cruel names: ankle-biter, pests, “a handful”, raucous, haphazard, messy, pesky, hyenas, arrogant, and “filled with schemes to do wrong.” Yet on p.193 the author says name-calling isn’t allowed in her house!
Denigration of children is coupled with bribes of money and sweets, and a menu of frequent and various punishments. And although hitting is supposedly “not allowed” in the author’s house (p.193), and she claims she “isn’t violent” (p.170), she frequently spanks her 3 children. Her prescription for hitting is on p.183-185. Other, “creative” boot-camp style tortures are recommended on p.146-161.
Apparently all these “Creative Corrections” don’t even work, since on p.274 Whelchel admits “My kids still act up and disobey” and spanking “didn’t work” on her son Tucker (p.171) Whelchel says her grandmother asked her not to spank (p.157). This book is recommended by Focus on the Family.
Please write a review!!
Amazon review page
Barnes & Noble review page
Here are more quotes from this “creative” child abuse manual:
p.xiv Whelchel’s son, “Tucker, like all of us…comes by his sin naturally. In fact, the roots of misbehavior can be traced all the way back to Adam.” (This is said after describing Tucker being noisy and climbing rails. Tucker has ADHD.)
p.5 Whelchel talks to a fellow actress and “was tempted to slap her with a wet wipe.”
p.18 After Whelchel’s son says his half-naked father looks like he’s “about to die on the cross like Jesus”, she claims: “Our children closely identify us with God.”
p.22 “All children are born with foolishness bound up in their hearts.” “When we allow our children to determine the outcome of a situation, even subtly, it weakens their trust in us.”
p.25 “I grew up in the South, where I was taught to reply, ‘Yes, sir’ or ‘Yes, ma’am’ when following instruction.”
p.26 “King Solomon, who was the wisest man who ever lived.” (What happened to Jesus?)
p.27 “Disobedience comes in many forms, including whining.”
p.28 “Teaching our children to obey us and our words is primarily to teach them to obey God and His Word.” “Because the rules I’m instilling are God’s, I no longer have to respond with ‘Because I’m the mom. That’s why!’ I can calmly tell my kids, ‘Honey, I didn’t make up these rules, God did.”
p.58 “discipline the flesh” p.59 “correcting the flesh” p.62 “bodily discipline”
p.75 Whelchel approves of filling a boy’s room with manure!
p.79 “God…loves us too much to let us go unpunished.”
p.99 “Stealing a cookie from the jar when Mom isn’t looking is easily punishable with a slap on the hand.”
p.101 “Whatever we deny our children now is for their good later.”
p.109 Bribes: her son with baseball cards, her daughter with pennies. p.113 Chuck E Cheese tokens, stickers, toys. p.114 Trip to McDonald’s for a “Happy Meal”, chocolate chips. p.115-116 ice cream, fruity cereal, fruit salad, pie, gumballs, candy, money. p.120 pencils, soda pop, sleeping with mom and dad for one night, going to a Saturday matinee, choosing the next pizza topping, having a pillow fight, going to work with Dad, eating dessert first, or receiving a “get out of jail free” (correction) card. p.123 More bribes: videos, decoration for child’s bedroom, necklace, gold earrings.
p.121 If a child forgets to say “thank you” for candy, they “must give the candy to Mom and Dad.”
p.133 Talks of “molding” children, using “screwdriver” “hammer” and “sandpaper” techniques.
p.134 Whelchel claims the “Holy Spirit” gives her ideas on “what tool to use” on her children.
p.135 “The hearts of our children are ‘filled with schemes to do wrong’” “Next time they act up in public, shock them by leaving your half-full shopping cart and taking them directly to the car for correction.”
p.136 “We need to develop and enforce in our children a habit of obedience the first time. It may take some cracking down in the beginning.” “If you’ve established boundaries ahead of time and consequences for crossing them, be prepared to follow through.”
p.137 “One effective correction is to rescind the privilege of playing with friends. Unfortunately, this punishes the friends, too…for example, last month, Tucker lost the privilege of playing with his friend Josiah after school because he told the baby-sitter no when she ordered him to his room. This upset Josiah terribly, because he had been waiting all week for this day.”
p.138 “As we walk along together shopping, I will suddenly give them silly commands that they must obey without arguing, such as ‘Walk backward,’ or ‘Stop and touch your toes,’ or ‘Give me a kiss.’ Occasionally I’ll throw in a real command, like ‘Don’t touch that,’ or ‘No, you may not have an Icee.’ My favorite curve, however, is to say no to some reasonable request, like ‘May I go to the bathroom?’”
p.139 “Administering real correction—punishing a child when she has disobeyed—has to hurt a little to be effective, but that doesn’t mean it has to be boring.”
p.143 “Here’s a solution for a perpetually messy bedroom: Explain to your child, ‘I cannot bear to look at this room anymore—it’s too messy! I’m going to turn off the circuit breaker so I can’t see it. When it’s clean enough for me to tolerate, let me know and I’ll turn your power back on.’”
p.143-144 “Having a struggle at bedtime? Try this: Next time you’re dealing with the usual bathroom trips, cups of water, giggling, and talking, call off bedtime. Declare, ‘Nobody has to go to bed tonight!’ Inform them that they may stay up as long as they like—the operative words being stay up. Then have each child stand still in the middle of a separate room of the house.”
p.145 “I heard of a single father who served five plain Brussels sprouts to his picky eaters. They had 10 minutes to eat them or they would get the remaining eight in the pot. This made such an impact on them that he only needed to refer to the ‘brussels sprout’ punishment when the children were tempted to complain about their meals again. When our kids don’t want to eat what I’ve cooked for dinner, Steve and I won’t make it an issue. They don’t have to eat it as long as they’ve tried at least one bite. If they refuse to do even that, however, they just go hungry.”
p.157 “Two summers ago I drove with the kids, my mother, and my grandmother in a camper from California to Texas. My grandmother, ‘Nanny,’ asked me not to spank the children while on the trip because it upset her.”
p.170 “I received plenty of spankings growing up, and I’ve never felt tempted to get violent because of them” ???????? p.172 “I am grateful for the gift of spanking.”
p.171 “As I hinted in the first chapter, the whole catalyst for this book—fueling my need for creative correction—came when my son was about six or seven years old. Suddenly, spankings, so effective in the past, just didn’t work on him anymore. They actually made things worse. It didn’t matter how calmly and lovingly I administered the spanking; it would send Tucker even further out of control, and we would both end up crying.”
p.193 “These are the ground rules at our house: No hitting (!), biting, kicking, pulling hair, or any other forms of physical retaliation. No name-calling (!), humiliating, sarcasm, or verbally wounding another person. No stealing, destroying, or borrowing personal property without permission. Breaking these rules will result in laps, pushups, interrogation, or solitary confinement—sometimes literally!”
p.203 “Require the two siblings to go ‘toe to toe.’ Have each child face the other with their toes touching; they must remain that way until they’re no longer angry.” “Use a pair of toy handcuffs to join two siblings who can’t seem to get along. It’s really fun to watch them try to eat dinner like this, or read a book, or take the garbage out, tasks I’ll often assign them.” “Hugs, even forced ones, are good at breaking down barriers.” “Make each child stand at opposite ends of the yard. Then have them yell ‘I love you!’ back and forth 20 times.”
p.206 “If you have a son who insists on getting physical to solve disputes, buy him a pair of boxing gloves. The next time things begin to ‘come to blows,’ pull out the gloves and put them on the boy. Don’t allow him to take them off for the rest of the day. This makes simple tasks like eating dinner, brushing one’s teeth, and putting on pajamas rather difficult. You can even cook popcorn for an after-dinner snack. (Be sure to pull out the video camera!)
p.207 “If they are unable to cooperate with one another, they must play in the backyard, whether it’s 30 degrees or 100 degrees outside.”
p.208 “Got any old hand or ankle weights in the garage? Have your child wear them around his ankles or carry them around for the day as punishment for being a bad example to a younger sibling.”
p.209 “Tie the arguing siblings’ ankles together as though they’re in a three-legged race, and don’t let them part until the issue is resolved or dropped.”
p.209 Whelchel turns this verse upside down: “Proverbs 17:1—‘Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.’ This verse works wonders for bickering at the dinner table. Simply remove the dinner plates of the arguing siblings and replace them with the heels of the bread loaf, served on a napkin.”
p.244 “A wise parent will let her children stumble and fall.”
p.265 Sample prayer for a child “Dear God, Thank you that my parents love me and that because they love me, they correct me when I sin. Thank you that the spankings drive out the foolishness in my heart.”
p.276 Her children “are not allowed to leave their rooms in the morning before 7:00, even if they wake up earlier.”
p.287 At 8:15pm, after Whelchel’s daughter has gone to bed, she “comes downstairs, complaining of having ‘cranky legs’. I tell her she’s going to have a ‘cranky bottom’ if she doesn’t stay in bed.”
Please write a review of this “creative” child abuse manual at Amazon
Write a review at Barnes & Noble
Want to write to Lisa Whelchel directly? First, go to her website. Then click on “sign up for my monthly newsletter” at the top right of the page. Then, click on “Email” on the right. There you will see “Coffee Talk” where you can write to Whelchel.
THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING OUT AGAINST THIS ABUSE MANUAL!!!"