Chicago's Positive Parenting Resolution

It's not the law, but it's a start:

THE FOLLOWING POSITIVE PARENTING RESOLUTION WAS OVERWHELMINGLY PASSED BY CHICAGO'S CITY COUNCIL ON OCTOBER 28, 2005

DIRECT EFFECT POSITIVE PARENTING RESOLUTION
Submitted by Michelle DiGiacomo

PRESENTED TO CHICAGO’S CITY COUNCIL ON SEPTEMBER 14, 2005
By
Alderman Isaac Carothers


WHEREAS, all children need love, guidance and deserve to grow up in an environment free from violence and physical harm. Positive, non-violent, peaceful forms of discipline teach children to think beyond the immediate and give them a blueprint for future reference.

WHEREAS, Children are influenced by the model for behavior set by adults in their environment. When adults resort to violence, children are likely to learn this behavior is acceptable and imitate it with their and

WHEREAS, positive, non-violent parenting promotes positive, peaceful relationships and respect for others and their rights to safety; and

WHEREAS, Childhood is a unique and critical stage of life. All children share the same basic needs for safety, health, love and dignity. Peaceful, communicative parenting supports a child’s development: and

WHEREAS, current research is proving that violence negatively impacts upon normal brain development and learning for all children; and

WHEREAS, violent behavior learned in the home and school environment is reflected in the behaviors of people throughout our communities, cities and societies at large. As a result of this violence, children and families are hurting, education systems and learning has been hindered, and prisons are overflowing with youth: now therefore,


BE IT RESOLVED, that the City Council of Chicago will support a proclamation that encourages non-violent discipline in the effort to reduce violence towards all but especially within the family and as directed towards children; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the City Council of Chicago, on behalf of the children of Chicago, help establish ties between our schools and community through the promotion of mental health and family counseling programs to support families experiencing stress; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the City of Chicago Child Abuse Prevention Joint Task Force is urged to continue its advocacy on behalf of children experiencing violence in the home; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that City Departments and Agencies are encouraged to implement and distribute positive, non-violent parenting literature within the community via schools, churches, hospitals and community organizations which will help to make parents aware of education that supports behavior management strategies as alternatives to corporal punishment; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that this resolution shall serve as notice that City Council of the City of Chicago has been and shall remain vigilant in guarding the best interests of the children of Chicago in all matters to the extent legally and feasibly possible.


Alderman Isaac Carothers, 29th Ward

The Alderman of Chicago have chosen to make a difference in the lives of our most precious and innocent citizens; our children. It is our hope that this Resolution be passed in cities throughout the country. Please contact us if you are interested in effecting change in your own city and we will do all in our power to help!

What This Site Is...And What It Is Not

What it is: A call to arms for people who feel the way I do about this issue to take action. It was once legal in this country to beat one's wife. It was once legal in all 50 states to hit children in schools. We have changed those laws and we can change these. (Some states still need to enter the 21st century on the school paddling issue.)

What it is NOT: An invitation for debate. If you are a proponent of hitting children, this isn't the site for you. You are not going to convince me, no matter what you say, that it is our right as parents to discipline our children physically. It is no more a civil right to hit a child than it is to hit a spouse.

My goal is to keep this issue top-of-mind for bloggers who want to see change. It's a controversial position in the minds of some, but then again...so was abolition. I will continue to post articles, quotes, statistics. A toolkit for activism.

One commenter accused me of being a "child protection fanatic". To that person, I say thank you.

But, because people haven't been able to resist trying to debate me on this topic, I have turned off comments. This will be an information-only site, not meant for feedback.

If we are ever to turn toward a kindlier society and a safer world, a revulsion against the physical punishment of children would be a good place to start.

- Dr. Benjamin Spock

Another Child Beaten to Death in NYC

Details are just emerging:

Read the story here.

Interesting Observation

I've been quite taken aback at how ANGRY the pro-hitting contingent is about this topic...but then again, it's all about anger and how we express it, isn't it?

A few people have asked me how this type of legislation could possibly work. How could it be enforced? How would parents be punished? Would every child be removed from the home of a parent who "spanked"? I don't see why this is so hard to understand. Domestic violence laws just need to extend to children. Any type of hitting is considered domestic violence when one spouse strikes another. In fact, taking a swing at your partner is grounds for police intervention. (I know this, because I called the police when my ex-husband took a swing at me and missed).

If it does not appear that the child is injured or in immediate danger, a parent would be told that it is NOT OKAY to physically punish (spank, swat, pop, whatever the hell they want to call it) their child.

Clearly a change in the law would have to be accompanied by a major education campaign for parents, in ways to raise their children without hitting. And how about teaching children what it is to be a good parent, from elementary school and beyond? If a child is in class and learns that 'spanking' is not okay, they might be inclined to say "hey, my parents do that."

Think about it. When seatbelt laws first came into effect, some people thought it was a civil rights violation (oddly, these are the same people who couldn't give a fig about civil rights for gay people, and hate the ACLU). But lo and behold...behavior changed. People wear seatbelts. Lives have been saved. People aren't being carted off to jail for not wearing a seatbelt. They have just learned that it is the BETTER thing to do, and that their 'personal choice' not to wear one does affect the rest of us. (Hurtling bodies, higher insurance rates)

All of that said, another child has died in NYC... this time a four-year-old boy. His mother's story? A TV fell on the kid. Two days ago.

Corporal Punishment and the Effect on Crime

In response to "anonymous" whose comments indicate a belief that children need to be hit in order not to grow up to be criminals, I give you:

The Influence of Corporal Punishment on Crime
by Adah Maurer, Ph.D. and James S. Wallerstein (1987)


The last legal flogging of a convicted felon in the United States occurred in Delaware in 1952. The barbaric practice was made illegal in that year, but Delaware waited until 1972 to formally remove the whipping post from the state penitentiary.
Flogging in the Navy for drunken or disorderly conduct was abolished in 1853. The Marines finally forbade all forms of physical punishment in 1957 after a drill sergeant led a disciplinary march into a bog where six young men were drowned. Military instructors now may not touch the person or the clothing of a recruit and "Any fracture, concussion, contusion or welt shall be considered prima facia evidence of excessive force.'' There are no exceptions made on the grounds that some young men bruise easily.

Slavery and involuntary servitude had always been maintained with the help of whips, but that disappeared in the United States with the Emancipation Proclamation issued by President Lincoln, January 1, 1863.

Spousal abuse used to be termed "reasonable chastisement of wives" and was presumed necessary to maintain the sanctity and stability of the family. All states now have laws against such assaults, and law enforcement and the courts have begun to take seriously, complaints of spousal battery.

Only Children

Now, in 1987, physical punishment is considered too severe for felons, murderers, criminals of all kinds and ages, including juvenile delinquents, too demeaning for soldiers, sailors, servants and spouses. But it remains legal and acceptable for children who are innocent of any crime.

The reasoning behind this curious discrepancy has been the belief that physical punishment will prevent the child from becoming a criminal. The frequent headlines: "Rising Tide of Juvenile Delinquency" usually attribute the situation to a decline of the use of corporal punishment in schools and homes. "Permissiveness," or letting the child do as he pleases, assumed by some to be the only alternative to hitting, is pervasively believed to be the primary cause of anti-social behavior. In the good old days, it is said, "old fashioned discipline" kept children in line. There was very little crime. Harmony reigned. Or did it?

The Truth About the "Good Old Days"

There are no reliable statistics on the extent of crime a hundred or a hundred and fifty years ago. From all reports, however, crime in the U.S. was extensive, especially violent crime and crimes among the young. The good citizens of 19th century America were also alarmed. They looked back to the good old days of simple rural life, before the growth of the cities. The crowded and crime-ridden Eastern cities were contrasted unfavorably with the "wide open spaces" of the West -- the West, that is, of Jesse James and Billy the Kid!

Discipline in the one room schoolhouses was violent. Often the teacher engaged in a bare knuckle fight with the biggest student as a warning to the others of what would happen to them if they provoked his wrath. Horace Mann, the Father of American education, fulminated against the number of floggings per day, sometimes more than the number of scholars. Most of our great grandparents were satisfied with a fourth grade education and eighth grade was the end for all but five percent. The lawless mountain men of the Old West were recruited from the 14-year olds who high tailed it after one thrashing too many. Bands of outlaws stole horses, and plagued the defenseless. Public hangings and Iynchings were commonplace while pickpockets worked the crowds. Only the militia and the sheriff's posse maintained any semblance of order.

Yet the myth remains that only woodshed discipline in early youth keeps boys from a life of crime, and that respect for authority is promoted only by painful procedures that induce fear and resentment of authority.

What is the truth? Let's take a good hard look at the facts about the effects of corporal punishment on crime.

After-Effects of Physical Punishment

Adrenalin output increases sharply during fear, anger and physical punishment. When this is prolonged or often repeated, the endocrine balance fails to return to baseline. The victim becomes easily angered and prone to poor impulse control and spontaneous violent outbursts.

Educational achievement is affected both directly and indirectly. Studies of prisoners, delinquents, school drop-outs, college freshmen and successful professionals are compared in the following composite report.

Degree of physical punishment

Violent inmates at San Quentin:
Never - 0%
Rare - 0%
Moderate - 0%
Severe - 0%
Extreme - 100%

Juvenile Delinquents:
Never - 0%
Rare - 2%
Moderate - 3%
Severe - 31%
Extreme - 64%

High School drop-outs:
Never - 0%
Rare - 7%
Moderate - 23%
Severe - 69%
Extreme - 0%

College freshmen:
Never - 2%
Rare - 23%
Moderate - 40%
Severe - 33%
Extreme - 0%

Professionals:
Never - 5%
Rare - 40%
Moderate - 36%
Severe - 17%
Extreme - 0%


Taking part in this survey were: 200 psychologists who filled out anonymous questionnaires, 372 college students at the University of California, Davis and California State University at Fresno, 52 slow track underachievers at Richmond High School. Delinquents were interviewed by Dr. Ralph Welsh in Bridgeport, Connecticut and by Dr. Alan Button in Fresno, California. Prisoner information was by courtesy of Hobart Banks, M.S.W., counselor of difficult prisoners at San Quentin Penitentiary, San Quentin, California.


Timing

Do delinquents grow from lack of discipline? Or from too much discipline? Dr. Alan Button reports, "This, it now appears is the wrong question. We should be asking about sequence. Parents of delinquents, all of them, report physical beating in the first ten to twelve years of the child's life, but rarely thereafter. They "wash their hands" of the kid because "nothing works." Then the judge, finding that the boy has no supervision, denounces permissiveness.

The Belt Theory

Dr. Ralph Welsh who has given psychological examinations to over 2,000 delinquents, has developed what he calls. "The Belt Theory of Juvenile Delinquency." Dr. Welsh tells us:

"The recidivist male delinquent who has never been exposed to the belt, extension cord or fist at some time in his life is virtually non-existent. As the severity of corporal punishment in the delinquent's developmental history increases, so does the probability that he will engage in a violent act."

Driving Under the Influence

Car crashes caused by drunk driving are increased by a hidden factor. Bottled up anger, when combined with alcohol is the largest cause of the highway death toll which comes to 25,000 deaths every year, or one every 20 minutes. An investigation by Donald C. Pelz of the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan in 1973 led to his finding that: "For the young male, anger toward the adult world is likely to find vent in dangerous driving ... Hostility tends to multiply with their attitude toward the educational system ... Those who had rejected the school system ... are likely to reject the highway system. " In fact he concluded that abiding anger was even more dangerous than drinking per se, but that the combination was the most deadly. The insult to high school boys of an embarrassing paddling raises the adrenaline level, which if repeated often enough stays high all the time. They are the timebombs whose battlefield casualties litter the roads and intersections of our country.

Spanking the Baby

The effect begins early. Babies just over a year were observed with their mothers at a clinic at the University of Houston. As reported in Psychology Today interviews about the methods of discipline they used revealed that the babies who where punished physically were the least likely to obey instructions not to touch breakables. Even more importantly, seven months later the punished children lagged behind the others in developmental tests.

The Real Reason

Why, with all this evidence about the destructive effects of physically painful punishments, do so many people continue to believe that the only alternative to hitting children is to negligently allow them to do as they please? And that what they please is always delinquent, if not outright criminal?

At the National Center for the Study of Corporal Punishment at Temple University in Philadelphia a large research project inquired of adults the reasons for their beliefs, both pro- and anti-paddle. Most thought they had arrived at their belief logically, but in truth, the real determinant was their own childhood history. Those who had been spanked, paddled, switched, whipped etc. tended overwhelmingly to believed in it. Those who had not been hit, and had attended non-hitting schools, did not believe hitting did any good or were shocked and dismayed at the very idea. The action-language of our childhood overrides logic more often than not. Minds and habits do change, however, but it takes thoughtful assessment and considerable motivation even by people of goodwill.

Institutional Abuse

Whether the beatings were at the hands of the natural parents, or others who stood in for them seems to make little difference except that institutional punishments lack even intermittent moments of pride and belonging, that might in some cases mitigate slightly the worst effects. Charles Manson, the child of a 15 year old single mother had his first contact with police when he was 7 and spent the rest of his life in a series of foster homes, reform schools and prisons. He could have survived the rejection of his mother, he says, if reform school of officials hadn't been institutionally cruel, whipping, beating and raping him, and letting other inmates do the same.

A survey of 3,900 people in Houston as to what effect school corporal punishment had on their lives found that 76 percent of them said the effects had been negative and that they continued to resent what happened to them. That leaves about a fourth of them who were able to shrug it off and a mere handful who felt grateful for the timely punishment that "saved me from a life of crime." Thus, the one who testifies that "I was paddled when I was a kid and I turned out okay," must be labeled a survivor and congratulated on the strength of character that enabled him to make a life in spite of early mistreatment. Psychologist Robert Fathman, has offered this apt analogy: "Many people grew up in homes that had outhouses and they turned out okay. But do outhouses get the credit?"

Click to read the fine print. Freely download the graphics I post on this site (with links back here and to the site from which they came, always indicate) and cross-promote.

Oprah

I have written to Oprah, and hope this might get someone's attention there.

If anyone wants to do the same, here's the link . (See? I'm making at easy as possible for you)

This is what I wrote:

"With all the recent publicity surrounding the death of little Nixmary Brown in NYC, at the hands of her parents, several lawmakers are proposing legislation to impose harsher sentences on those who kill children.

I do not think that is enough, nor is it the answer.

We need to STOP sanctioning corporal punishment in the home, NOW. This is a human rights issue. Children need to be protected from physical assault in the same way that our adult counterparts are.

I have started a blog to publicize this cause and you can access it here:
http://stophitting.blogspot.com, but this issue needs Oprah. We've outlawed it in most (not all) schools. We have to stop letting parents use their own (often fatally flawed) judgment when deciding where discipline ends and abuse begins.

I can't smack my next door neighbor. I can't 'spank' my elderly mother, even though she physically abused me as a child.

Please help me in this effort. I know that if Oprah gets behind this, we can make it happen."

Let's Take Action!!

I am starting this blog as a grass roots effort to change these ridiculous state laws that allow parents to use their own (often fatally flawed) judgment when "disciplining" their children. I would encourage everyone who feels this way to email or write letters to your Assemblypeople and State Senators. I will be writing and posting a sample letter that you can send.

In New York City and State right now, several lawmakers are proposing "Nixmary's Law" which only addresses harsher punishments for people who kill children. That is not enough. We need to stop the abuse before it starts...not just concern ourselves with locking up the murderers. I have written to each and every one of those legislators.

We have been able to make this change in schools in most states. (Hard to believe that some states still allow it.) It's time to bring the US into the 21st century and teach parents how to raise children without hitting them. It's harder, for sure, but who ever said it was easy to be a parent? Spanking is just a euphamism for "I've run out of ideas." There are plenty of better ways to get children to behave.

Check out this website for starters:
The Center for Effective Discipline

Here's an excerpt from the EPOCH (End Physical Punishment of Children in the Home) page:

Spanking: Facts and Fiction

Definitions:

Corporal punishment:
Synonymous with “physical punishment.”." It means the intentional infliction of pain on the body for purposes of punishment or controlling behavior. It includes slapping, spanking, hitting with objects, pinching, shaking, and forcing to stand for long periods of time.

Spanking:
Hitting with the flat of the hand usually on the buttocks for punishment or for stopping a behavior.

In the United States, spanking as punishment has shown a long-term decline. In the 1950's, ninety-nine percent of parents supported the use of corporal punishment of children. In recent years that number has fallen. Surveys generally report about fifty percent of parents supporting its use. Studies show that a majority of parents who use corporal punishment feel badly about it and don't think it works to improve behavior.

Parents who support spanking often use one of the following arguments:

Spanking is an effective way to manage behavior.
I got hit when I was a kid and I turned out OK.
If we don’t spank children, they’ll grow up rotten.
The bible says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”
Look at the facts:

Spanking argument #1 - “Spanking is an effective way to manage behavior”

Hitting a small child will usually stop misbehavior. However, other ways of discipline such as verbal correction, reasoning, and time-out work as well and do not have the potential for harm that hitting does. Hitting children may actually increase misbehavior. One large study showed that the more parents spanked children for antisocial behavior, the more the antisocial behavior increased (Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997). The more children are hit, the more likely they are to hit others including peers and siblings and, as adults, they are more likely to hit their spouses (Straus and Gelles, 1990; Wolfe, 1987). Hitting children teaches them that it is acceptable to hit others who are smaller and weaker. “I'm going to hit you because you hit your sister” is a hypocrisy not lost on children.

Spanking argument #2 - “I got hit when I was a kid and I turned out OK”

Being spanked is an emotional event. Adults often remember with crystal clarity times they were paddled or spanked as children. Many adults look back on corporal punishment in childhood with great anger and sadness. Sometimes people say, “I was spanked as a child, and I deserved it”. It is hard for us to believe that people who loved us would intentionally hurt us. We feel the need to excuse that hurt. Studies show that even a few instances of being hit as children are associated with more depressive symptoms as adults (Strauss, 1994, Strassberg, Dodge, Pettit & Bates, 1994). A landmark meta-analysis of 88 corporal punishment research studies of over six decades showed that corporal punishment of children was associated with negative outcomes including increased delinquent and antisocial behavior, increased risk of child abuse and spousal abuse, increased risk of child aggression and adult aggression, decreased child mental health and decreased adult mental health (Gershoff, 2002). While most of us who were spanked “turned out OK”, it is likely that not being spanked would have helped us turn out to be healthier.

Spanking Argument #3 - “If we don't spank children, they'll grow up rotten”

Children in seventeen countries (2005) are growing up without being hit in homes, in daycare or in schools. Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Austria, Finland and other countries that have banned corporal punishment of children in general have low rates of interpersonal violence compared to the United States. Critics predicted that Swedish youth would grow up more unruly after parents stopped spanking because of the l979 corporal punishment ban. Dr. Joan Durrant who studied effects of the ban for l5 years reported that this did not happen. Her studies indicate youth did not become more unruly, under socialized or self-destructive following the ban. In fact, she said most measures demonstrated a substantial improvement in youth well-being (Durrant, 2000). Professor Adrienne Haeuser who studied these educational laws in Europe in 1981 and 1991 said “Children are receiving more discipline since the law in Sweden passed. Parents think twice and tend to rely more on verbal conflict resolution to manage their children”. Discipline is important. Discipline means “to teach”. We need more discipline of children such as explaining and reasoning, establishing rules and consequences, praising good behavior in children and being good models for or children. Such methods develop a child's conscience and self-control. Children who experience teaching discipline are less likely to misbehave and more likely to become self-disciplined adults.

Spanking Argument #4 - “The bible says 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' and I must obey God”

Spanking is deeply rooted in the history and culture of the United States. The bible is often used to support, even perhaps to require, that parents use corporal punishment on children. Many clergy today are speaking out against that interpretation of scripture. The Reverend Dr. Thomas E. Sagendorf, retired Methodist Minister, says the following “I can find no sanction in the teaching of Jesus or the witness of the New Testament to encourage the practice of corporal punishment at home, school or anywhere else. A number of popular voices take a different view, often quoting Old Testament scriptures to prove their point. Those who subscribe to this argument misunderstand and misuse scripture. A similar method of selective reading could just as well be used to justify slavery, suppression of women, polygamy, incest and infanticide”. At its General Conference in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in April and May, 2004, the United Methodist Church passed two resolutions against corporal punishment in homes, schools and child-care. The United Methodist Church is the second largest Protestant denomination in the United States.

Conclusion

Look at the facts. Accumulated research supports the ineffectiveness and harm of corporal punishment. Children who are spanked most are more likely to be aggressive and hit others. Children hit for antisocial behaviors are more likely to increase those misbehaviors. Hitting children teaches acceptance of violence. While most of us who were spanked as children grow up to be healthy adults, spanking caused anxiety, contributed to feelings of helplessness and humiliation, and often provoked anger and a desire for revenge, feelings which have usually been repressed in adulthood but may lead to depression, adult violence, and hitting our own children. Effective discipline exists. It does not involve hitting and humiliating children.

References and Resources

Durrant, Joan E. (2000). “Trends in Youth Crime and Well-Being Since the Abolition of Corporal Punishment in Sweden”, Youth and Society. Youth and Society, Volume 31, 437-455.

Gershoff, Elizabeth (2002) “Corporal Punishment by Parents and Associated Child Behaviors and Experiences: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review”, Psychological Bulletin 2002. Vol. 128, No. 4 539-579. American Psychological Association.

Greven, Philip. (1992). Spare the Rod: The religious roots of punishment and the psychological impact of physical abuse. Vintage Books.

Miller, Alice. (1990) For your own good: Hidden cruelty in child-rearing and roots of violence. Farrar, Straus & Giroux, LLC.

Straus, M.A., Sugarman, D.B., & Giles-Sims (1997). “Corporal punishment by parents and subsequent antisocial behavior in children”. Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, 155, 761-767.

Straus, M.A., & Gelles, R.J. (Eds.). (1990) “Physical violence in American families: Risk factors and adaptions to violence in 8,145 families”. New Brunswick, NJ: Transactions.

Straus, M.A. (1994). Beating the devil out of them: Corporal punishment in American families. San Francisco, CA: New Lexington Press.

Strassberg, Z., Dodge, K.A., Pettit, G.S., & Bates, J.E. (1994). “Spanking in families and subsequent aggressive behavior toward peers by kindergarten students”. Development and Psychopathology, 6, 445-461.

Wolfe, D.A. (1987). Child abuse: Implications for child development and psychopathology . Newbury Park, CA: Sage

Author: Nadine Block, Director of the Center for Effective Discipline and co-chair of EPOCH-USA July 2005.