Spanking is Just A Euphamism for Hitting

Warning: The last piece of audio on this clip is heartbreaking. But please note the section on Joey Salvati.

The Nixzmary Brown Trial

For the results of the trial go here.

New York Newsday runs daily accounts of the trial. Another situation where a "parent" thinks he is simply disciplining a bad child.

In court, Nixzmary Brown's stepdad identifies the wounds he inflicted
BY SCOTT SHIFREL AND TRACY CONNOR
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS
Friday, February 1st 2008, 4:00 AM

Nixzmary Brown's stepfather Cesar Rodriguez (left) looks at himself on video admitting beating the 7-year-old. Defense attorney Jeffrey Schwartz (c.) and Judge Priscilla Hall watch.
The photos of Nixzmary Brown's bruised, lacerated face and body were brutal enough to drive two spectators from the courtroom during a hearing Thursday.
Accused killer Cesar Rodriguez didn't flinch when investigators showed him the closeups hours after the murder of his 7-year-old stepdaughter, a police video shows.
In fact, the tape - which jurors will see today or Monday - reveals the accused killer coldly catalogued which injuries he had caused.
"The cut in the chin she got when she fell on the floor when I threw her," he told Assistant District Attorney Linda Weinman the evening of Jan. 11, 2006.
"What about the mark above the eye?" Weinman asked.
"She hit herself," Rodriguez claimed.
"What about the black eyes?" Weinman pressed.
"The black eyes, she managed to do that to herself."
The prosecutor showed a photo of Nixzmary's battered back.
"That's from me beating her with the belt," Rodriguez said, referring to marks on her buttocks.
He was less sure about some marks on her waist.
"Same thing - from the belt or my hands," he said. "Maybe pound her on her back."
"What about this mark on her ankle?" Weinman asked later.
"That was from the bungee cord," Rodriguez answered.
"That was from the bungee cord when you tied it around her leg so she couldn't leave the room?" Weinman said.
"Right," replied Rodriguez.
The questioning lasted 45 minutes, with Rodriguez detailing shameful abuse he had heaped on the second-grader.
Nixzmary weighed just 36 pounds, but Rodriguez described her as a beast who attacked her siblings and stole food.
He admitted he tied her to a chair in a back room, kept her out of school to hide her bruises, and withheld yogurt as a punishment.
When Nixzmary took a yogurt and damaged a computer printer hours before her death, Rodriguez became enraged.
"I took her into the bathroom and I put cold water on her," he admitted. "I asked her if she did it, and she didn't want to answer me, and so I turned off the water and I left her in the room on the floor."
He denied hitting her head against the faucet or the wall.
Weinman asked if he was aware Nixzmary died from a massive brain injury, and Rodriguez said he was.
"I wouldn't know how she did that," he said.
Jurors weren't present for the video, played in a hearing about whether to redact a section in which Rodriguez is asked if Nixzmary ate cat food.
So they didn't hear defense lawyer Jeffrey Schwartz make an insensitive remark while arguing the question should be cut.
"There's calories in cat food," Schwartz said, quickly adding, "I'm not saying it's appropriate to feed it to a child."
Schwartz plans to argue that Rodriguez's statement was coerced, hoping the jury will discount it, but prosecutor Ama Dwimoh said the tape is "one of the most powerful pieces of evidence we have ... it's his words."

New York Newsday runs daily accounts of the trial. Another situation where a "parent" thinks he is simply disciplining a bad child.

In court, Nixzmary Brown's stepdad identifies the wounds he inflicted
BY SCOTT SHIFREL AND TRACY CONNOR
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS
Friday, February 1st 2008, 4:00 AM

Nixzmary Brown's stepfather Cesar Rodriguez (left) looks at himself on video admitting beating the 7-year-old. Defense attorney Jeffrey Schwartz (c.) and Judge Priscilla Hall watch.
The photos of Nixzmary Brown's bruised, lacerated face and body were brutal enough to drive two spectators from the courtroom during a hearing Thursday.
Accused killer Cesar Rodriguez didn't flinch when investigators showed him the closeups hours after the murder of his 7-year-old stepdaughter, a police video shows.
In fact, the tape - which jurors will see today or Monday - reveals the accused killer coldly catalogued which injuries he had caused.
"The cut in the chin she got when she fell on the floor when I threw her," he told Assistant District Attorney Linda Weinman the evening of Jan. 11, 2006.
"What about the mark above the eye?" Weinman asked.
"She hit herself," Rodriguez claimed.
"What about the black eyes?" Weinman pressed.
"The black eyes, she managed to do that to herself."
The prosecutor showed a photo of Nixzmary's battered back.
"That's from me beating her with the belt," Rodriguez said, referring to marks on her buttocks.
He was less sure about some marks on her waist.
"Same thing - from the belt or my hands," he said. "Maybe pound her on her back."
"What about this mark on her ankle?" Weinman asked later.
"That was from the bungee cord," Rodriguez answered.
"That was from the bungee cord when you tied it around her leg so she couldn't leave the room?" Weinman said.
"Right," replied Rodriguez.
The questioning lasted 45 minutes, with Rodriguez detailing shameful abuse he had heaped on the second-grader.
Nixzmary weighed just 36 pounds, but Rodriguez described her as a beast who attacked her siblings and stole food.
He admitted he tied her to a chair in a back room, kept her out of school to hide her bruises, and withheld yogurt as a punishment.
When Nixzmary took a yogurt and damaged a computer printer hours before her death, Rodriguez became enraged.
"I took her into the bathroom and I put cold water on her," he admitted. "I asked her if she did it, and she didn't want to answer me, and so I turned off the water and I left her in the room on the floor."
He denied hitting her head against the faucet or the wall.
Weinman asked if he was aware Nixzmary died from a massive brain injury, and Rodriguez said he was.
"I wouldn't know how she did that," he said.
Jurors weren't present for the video, played in a hearing about whether to redact a section in which Rodriguez is asked if Nixzmary ate cat food.
So they didn't hear defense lawyer Jeffrey Schwartz make an insensitive remark while arguing the question should be cut.
"There's calories in cat food," Schwartz said, quickly adding, "I'm not saying it's appropriate to feed it to a child."
Schwartz plans to argue that Rodriguez's statement was coerced, hoping the jury will discount it, but prosecutor Ama Dwimoh said the tape is "one of the most powerful pieces of evidence we have ... it's his words."

"Discipline" Ends in Baby's Death

Riley, 'Baby Grace" was "disciplined" by her mother and step-father. Now, she's dead.

"Back in the Good Ol' Days..." and other arguments in favor of hitting children

10 Pro-Corporal Punishment Arguments & 10 Commonsense Answers
© 2000-2003 by Laurie A. Couture, M.Ed, LMHC

Argument #1: "It didn't do ME any harm!"

Answer: Often people who declare this typical argument do so very defensively. They may feel they must defend the actions of their caretakers. To do otherwise is to admit that as children, they never deserved to have pain inflicted upon them. They must also admit to the feelings of fear, anger and mistrust that may have resulted from being hit by loved ones who were supposed to keep them safe from harm. Often, people who use this argument use or have used corporal punishment on their own children, thus defending their actions to minimize guilt. However, their actions reveal that corporal punishment DID do them harm: It perpetuated the cycle of violence that they now endorse or inflict upon children.

Argument #2: "Most people who were corporally punished as kids turned out to live productive lives!" (Or, "I hit MY kids and THEY turned out fine!")

Answer: The human spirit is amazingly resilient. Many people who have experienced suffering as children are able to live productive lives. However, these people may harbor self-destructive tendencies, and interpersonal difficulties in that aren‘t apparent to onlookers. Adults who were mistreated in childhood are often insecure, mistrusting, defensive, authoritarian, passive, withdrawn, apathetic, in denial or quick to sarcasm. Those who transcend childhood suffering are often highly resilient people who have sought to process and understand how their childhood history currently impacts their lives. Due to the vast differences in each individual’s biological makeup, temperament, cognitive endurance, environment, supportive system and resources, not every person possesses an equal level of resiliency. Some people are able to flourish and achieve success in spite of childhood pain; while other people become overwhelmed by rage and anxiety and act destructively against others or towards themselves. We cannot know ahead of time how corporal punishment will adversely affect a child, or how any adverse affects will manifest. To risk the outcome of an angry, aggressive, withdrawn or insecure person is too high a risk to take even once.

Argument #3: "I HAVE to use corporal punishment, nothing else works!" (or "Time Outs don’t work!")

Answer: True discipline is about developing a trusting, mutually respectful relationship between child and caretaker. To inflict pain on a child as a means of control is a lazy way out of the work it takes to help a child understand and internalize proper behavior. If you have used corporal punishment on your child, it will take time and effort for new methods to work. Years of negative patterns can't be erased overnight with a simple solution. Nagging, yelling, threatening, controlling and punishing must stop before an effective relationship can be built and your child can trust you and understand the consequences of his/her behavior. People who use the argument "I’ve tried everything and nothing else works" often reveal that they haphazardly tried several techniques learned in various books, without actually committing to or following through consistently with one approach. The result is an unorganized set of chaotic rules or consequences that change often and confuse the child... and make the adult appear out of control. People dissatisfied with their lack of success with "time outs" tend to use "time out" in a punitive manner. These people may expect a tantruming child to comply with sitting in a designated chair for a set amount of minutes. This punitive method of "time out" generates powers struggles rather than compliance. A more effective method is to direct the child to quiet room in which to calm down, then allowing the child to rejoin you when he or she expresses readiness. There need be no time limit or nagging. The number of brief time outs can be increased until the child understands that he or she must regain control of him/herself. As an adult, how do you deal with adults who you can't seem to gain cooperation from? Do you hit your boss, employee, spouse or best friend when it appears that "nothing else works"?

Argument #4: "I only use corporal punishment as a last resort."

Answer: This reasoning teaches children that it is acceptable to use violence as a last resort to getting their way or to solving a difficult problem. This teaches that violence is the end result to frustrating situations that seem to have no other solution. Wars are fought on this principle. This argument is no more acceptable than an angry spouse saying that they "only" hit their mate "as a last resort" to a problem.

Argument #5: "There's a difference between child abuse and a little spanking!"

Answer: Violent acts occur on a continuum. Some are extreme, such as acts of torture or murder, others are less extreme such as a shove or a slap. Regardless of where they fall on the continuum, they are all acts of violence. Before the late 1960's, a husband's slap of his wife was not regarded as an act of abuse. Today, that same act is unquestionably viewed as abusive (society still has a long way to go before wives are equally regarded as batterers for assaulting their husbands). The "spanking" of children is viewed in the same light today as wife hitting was viewed before the 1960's: NOT abusive by legal standards. Additionally, if an employer "spanked" the buttocks of an employee, it would be grounds for sexual assault. Is there really a difference between child abuse and "a little spanking", or is society too uncomfortable with the idea of protecting children's right to be free from assault in the way that adults are currently protected?

Argument #6: "Corporal Punishment is Effective."

Answer: Corporal punishment may produce immediate results, but it makes discipline more difficult for caretakers in the long term. Corporal punishment teaches children to be sneaky- to follow your orders when only when you are around. It teaches children to become liars- to lie about misbehavior to avoid being hit, spanked, slapped or punished in some other degrading manner. Most importantly, corporal punishment slings arrows into the parent-child relationship, and communicates disrespect. It can destroy a child’s sense of trust and security in the relationship and confuses the definition of love. Moreover, corporal punishment has consistently been found to lead to anger, rage, aggressive behavior, revenge seeking, nightmares, disrespect for authority, higher stakes for depression, post traumatic stress, anxiety, substance use, sadomasochistic sexual fetishes, child abuse, spousal abuse, delinquency and of course... more corporal punishment (Straus, 1994). A single act of corporal punishment may be effective at immediately frightening a child into submission. However, caretakers who value their children will insist on positive, non-violent ways to discipline children.

Argument #7: "The Reason Kids Are So Bad These Days Is Because of a Lack of Corporal Punishment!"

Answer: Contrary to this argument, Straus (1994) and Gershoff (2002) report that over 90% of parents still report using corporal punishment on their children. Despite increased adult cynicism towards young people, incidents of youth crime have actually dropped since the early 1990’s. Isolated violent incidents committed by severely disturbed children are often inflated by the media to give the impression that young people are out of control. With regards to the wave of school shootings of recent years, all but one of these incidents occurred in school systems which use corporal punishment. In fact, in one school shooting case, the child targeted and shot the school teacher who had paddled him the day before. Corporal punishment is most strongly practiced in the southern and southwestern areas of the United States. These states actually have the highest rates of student violence, murder and incarceration in the country! Unfortunately, people who use argument #7 assume that discipline is synonymous with corporal punishment. If they observe the negative behaviors of children with permissive or neglectful parents, they may wrongly conclude that the child needs corporal punishment. In fact, children who are physically punished have been consistently found to have higher rates of aggression, juvenile delinquency and disrespect for authority- the very behaviors people want to prevent in children! Instead, children who have strong, loving role models, receive consistent guidance, firm limits, opportunities for democratic communication, logical consequences and positive, non-punitive discipline are more likely to manifest self discipline, critical thinking skills, personal accountability, good social skills and respect and concern for others. A child who is hit, smacked, spanked, paddled and hurt learns to be do the same.

Argument #8: "Corporal punishment teaches children to be obedient !"

Answer: In the early 1900’s, obedience was an important virtue. It was important for the children of hard-working laborers to be primed for lives of obedient servitude in mills and factories. Corporal punishment kept children in line, stifling critical thinking skills, negotiation, democratic communication with elders, questioning authority, bold individualistic deviations from the norm and opportunities to learn naturally from mistakes. In modern times, all of the qualities looked upon as dangerous in the early 1900’s are all qualities now necessary and vital in order to succeed in today’s innovative and competitive society. Enforcing blind obedience does not promote these skills. In order for children to grow into adults able to be successful in the modern world, they require discipline that promotes critical thinking, logical consequences, good communication and self discipline.

Argument #9: "What if they run out in the street or try to touch a hot stove? They need to be hit to learn that it is a dangerous situation!"

Answer: If you believe that hitting your child for running out into the street or reaching for a hot stove is effective, would you leave them alone near the street or stove once you’ve hit them? Being hit is in no way teaches anything about the dangers of the street or the stove, nor will it prevent them from exploring dangerous situations in the future. Instead, hitting children teaches them that YOU are dangerous and can inflict pain upon them. Children should not be hurt or punished for their lack of experience about the world, and for their developmental immaturity. It is the caretaker’s responsibility to remove opportunities for a child to encounter dangerous situations in their environment through proper monitoring and "child-proofing" efforts. Children can be taught gradually to exercise caution around dangerous situations, through your example, and constant reminders. Until they comprehend the dangers, they must be supervised, not hit.

Argument #10: "The Bible admonishes us to use 'the rod' on children!"

Answer: Children are assaulted on a daily basis in the name of religious devotion due to a few Biblical scriptures that have been taken out of context. Proverbs 23:13,14 is a commonly cited scripture for the support of corporal punishment. From a historical perspective, King Solomon, author of the book of Proverbs, was recorded as a brutal king who was thirsty for violence and who later opposed the law of God. His sons, who no doubt received corporal punishment, were rebellious, disrespectful and very aggressive. Given King Solomon's lack of family success, is he a good spiritual role model for parenting? In contrast, Jesus Christ was by far the Bible's most peaceful figure. There is no scripture in the New Testament in which Jesus advocates for, admonishes or recommends the use of corporal punishment on children. In stark contrast, he stated that people should treat others the way they wish to be treated. That is hardly a support for violence. Citing isolated Biblical scriptures is not an acceptable argument for using corporal punishment on children. Using the same technique of taking ancient, isolated scriptures out of context, one could also justify polygamy, racism, slavery, banishing menstruating women from public and stoning to death of those who have sexual relations outside of marriage. Additionally, there is no evidence that the "rod" of the Bible was anything other than a symbolic metaphor for a shepherd's staff, which was used to lead or guide, not hit, sheep. To take a few isolated scriptures from the Old testament out of context to excuse assaulting children is a gross contradiction of Jesus' message of love, tenderness and peace.

Three Cheers for Massachusetts

Massachusetts comes to its senses about children.

Another Baby "Punished" to Death for Crying

From the Timesledger.com:

11/05/2007
Father killed 13-month-old daughter: DA
By:Howard Koplowitz

A South Ozone Park man allegedly killed his 13-month-old daughter Saturday because she would not stop crying, Queens DA Richard Brown said.
Peter O'Keefe, 35, of 150-20 117th St. in South Ozone Park, was held without bail after he was arraigned on charges of murder and endangering the welfare of a child, Brown said in a statement.
O'Keefe, a bookkeeper with a Manhattan printing company, faces up to 25 years to life in prison if convicted of the charges, according to the DA.
"The defendant was supposed to protect his child, not harm her," Brown said. "This very disturbing case will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."
O'Keefe allegedly became agitated when his 13-month-old daughter would not stop crying Saturday afternoon while he was baby-sitting her, the DA said. He then allegedly beat and shook the girl and threw her to the floor before fleeing the home without getting the baby help, Brown said.
The girl's mother found her unconscious when she came home after an afternoon of shopping with a friend, according to the DA.
The baby was taken to Jamaica Hospital, where she was pronounced dead at 7:25 p.m., Brown said. The girl suffered a fractured skull, head trauma, human bite marks to her right arm and bruises, he said.
O'Keefe fled to Philadelphia and was arrested Sunday at his mother's home after returning to New York.

Chickory Wood Products

Dear Friends,

I am sad to say there is yet another paddle maker in the US!! Chickory Wood Products of Wisconsin is making and selling these child-beating implements: Chickory Wood Products Please write to them at: sales@chickorywoodproducts.com Here is a sample letter:

Dear Chickory Wood Products,

Please stop selling "paddles" for beating children. To sell these paddles only encourages a mentality of beating children and condoning gross child abuse, injury, and death. I am boycotting your company and advising others to do so until you stop selling these child-beating implements.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
(Your Name)
-------------------------------------

Thank you for writing them!! And please pass this email on to others!!

What is it about paddles anyway? They are more brutal than "The Rod" yet they seem more accepted by society. Is it because "paddles" are still used in some US schools? It's so tragic, and senseless.

Thank you for caring about children.

Susan Lawrence
Director, Stop the Rod
Stop the Rod
Parenting in Jesus'Footsteps


Note: The paddles come in a variety of sizes, including the smallest which is meant for children under 6. Disgusting.

NH Store Protects Bears, Promotes Hitting Children

Edited to say: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Clark's has discontinued the product in response to the overwhelmingly negative reaction to it. Thanks to all who wrote!





A gift shop in New Hampshire is selling paddles for beating children!! Clark's Trading Post is selling wooden boards with these words on them: "Never hit a child in the face. Mother Nature created a better place." They are called "Kid Attitude Adjuster" and have a picture of a small child being beaten on the buttocks. Interestingly, Clark's Trading Post also has black bear shows, and claims their bears are "not forced to perform" and they only use "positive reinforcement". If so, why are they treating the bears better than children?? Please write to them at info@clarkstradingpost.com

Here is a sample letter:

Dear Clark's Trading Post,
Please stop selling items for hitting children. Beating a small child is not funny, it is dangerous and humiliating to the child. If you are really treating your show bears so well that you only use positive reinforcement to train them to do tricks, why would you encourage worse treatment of vulnerable children?

I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,
(your name)
---------------

Thank you for writing them!! Please pass this on to others!! I confess I was truly shocked that this was happening in NH. It seems like nowhere in safe in the US from these device peddlers.

Susan Lawrence
Director, Stop the Rod